gratitude collision

I am grateful for being able to stand today.

For getting the courage up to finally take the next steps toward getting healthier and feeling better every day.

For finally saying enough is enough, you have a problem.

This isn’t the way life should be, not remembering the night before, not recognizing the person in the mirror or asleep next to you.
I am grateful for being able to walk today.
Not crawl or stumble, limp or run, just walk.
To walk a better path, towards something more fulfilling, more creative, more exciting really.
I am grateful for words like hallelujah, and for almond milk lattes and friends in strange places.
For coincidences, that are more like little drops of something holy.

For clarity.

Really having to think about things from all the angles, not just brushing things under the rug.
There is nothing harder than having to come to terms with a feeling.
Not feeling it is so much easier.

But this is better, what’s easier is not always the right choice.
Sometimes the right choice leaves you crazy, and itching for relief and solace.
For contact, impact, feeling something as intense as what courses through you at that moment.

I am grateful for the bruises that somehow make it better, like here’s the proof i’m still here.
That someone touched me.
That i ran into the world in someway and it ran at me too.
Collision, maybe thats all im looking for.
Proof that i’m here and that i matter.

I am grateful for reminders to be humble.
For the need to check my ego, my privilege, my pride at the door.
I am so lucky.

Lucky to be here, lucky to be alive, lucky to remember what ive said and done and really follow through.

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